• Maureen Houtz, M.A., LMFT

Dis-ease


It's that " I am not sure what's wrong" feeling- a sense of being unsettled, an irritability that goes on for days, a ready to bite his head off kind of feeling.

You may know how it started or it might feel like it's suddenly upon you.

You know your internal dialogue is anything but healthy- you are preoccupied with yesterday's conversations and unable to be in the moment today.

Maybe it was that guy who cut me off on the freeway, or the cashier who was irritated with me. I feel out of sorts but not sure what is feeding this feeling.

The process by which we come to figure ourselves out is a lifelong one. Sorry to report. But maybe this explanation will help you be a bit kinder to you and if necessary, spur you on to seek some outside help.

1. Try to consider emotions as information-Acknowledge and affirm current experience.

2. Access your emotions and their meaning; it's the only way to get to the emotional distress. Help symbolize in words that which is traumatic or hard in order to help you understand. It's often the meaning we attach that gets us lost.

3.Resist the desire to reason - it has never succeeded in controlling passion. Facilitate working through emotion completion through reprocessing the painful experience. Maybe a listening friend or mentor would be willing to help here.

4. Evoking emotion is not the same as acting on our feelings. Challenge the beliefs that produce bad feelings – creating a new self-experience and personal meaning. Again, it's often our own definitions that cause our dis-ease.

I found this poem, author unknown. It describes well the hope of the therapy process.

It can take practice, days of tugging at what keeps us bound, seasons of pushing against what keeps our dreaming small.

When it arrives, it might surprise you by how quiet it is, how it moves with such grace for possessing such power.

But you will know it by the strength that rises from within you to meet it, by the release of the knot in the center of your chest that suddenly lets go.

You will recognize it by how still your fear becomes as it loosens its grip, perhaps never quite leaving you,

but calmly turning into joy as you enter the life that is finally your own.


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